Feels
by otcassi
Summary: Inhale. High. Exhale. "Don't worry it'll take the edge off just don't think about him" or that's what I keep thinking. Naïve I know but I always think that maybe he will someday come back to me. No amount of dope can make me forget the night he showed me his love but then he left me.
1. Another day

I want to get to know someone, not the acquaintance of someone, it has to be raw and reek of emotion. There isn't a right way to open up, it's always gradual. Sometimes the best way to understand people is to get in their head and actually find out everything, likes v. dislikes, lovers v. enemies, favorites, etc. Today it seems as though we are so locked up in our own heads that we forget about the endless possibilities of another. Personalities, that's what i want to analyze and understand why they are who they are but the dark side seems too endless and always stops me, or Maybe i'm too lifted.

Inhale. High. Exhale.

Papers, vocabulary, tests, quizes, and all the other bulllshit on my plate; i thought when you were in your "prime" you were suppose to live, not be stressed to death over material you won't remember when you're 94 and basically breathing carrion. You'll remember the time you snuck out to get to the clouds with someone you just met, the time you almost drowned when you were flying with molly or maybe you'll remember the equation for cubics in pre-calculus. I guess it's objective, but i can only speak for myself: a lonely, wild, mess with nothing but work and school.

Inhale. Ash. High. Exhale.

Insomnia has kept me up 4 nights in a row but i can't feel the aching of sleep yet. I'm lifted and i'm reeling from my morning thoughts but i keep walking block after crime infested block to a pristine building of corrupted educators and more than one self proclaimed businessmen. My businessman of choice is a tall man with a comb over, always dressed like he has some place important to be, with his rolex and dress shoes along with the heinous uniforms, more often than not he has every hook up anyone could ever ask for. There isn't any cops at school because there isn't a problem, at least that's what the teachers and other authority figures like to believe, i can't remember the last day i didn't hear the sirens but never for me. Getting my prescription from my businessman i lazily walk through the grand doors of a seemingly perfect learning facility.

First Period. Study Hall.

There she is, my only friend and the only person that matters: Sango. We sit at the table in the back corner, females are dressed in their pleated short skirts with blouses and blazers while the guys in khakis and dress shirts with ties. Atrocious. I've some how managed to get the dean to let me wear khakis and a dress shirt, which were loose, then accompanied by my roches. I know Sango hates the dark blue skirts and the white shirts with the tacky blue and red trimmed blazer but if found her "cross dressing" she'd shit herself although i'm sure her father would be fine with a little more coverage that the khakis had to offer.

My thought was interrupted with a scream, a full blown bloody mary. We turn our heads to find a spider on a rather popular girls table, Talk about overkill. We laugh at her as she latches onto a way to familiar boy, then i stop, it was Inuyasha Takahashi: The boy that use to make me feel higher than any drug and made me laugh with his mad jokes. He was my best friend until Kikyo, the girl who was just throwing a fit about an Arachnid, It was quick and uncharacteristic. Maybe, that's why i'm so caught up with the intellect of others. what a shity way to kill a high.

Sango noticed my lack of heart and quickly caught on, she shook her head and sat back in the uncomfortable seat, while, i waited for her to tell me that it was pointless to hold onto the memories. It never came she just sighed and crossed her arms but that was her equivalent to my previous thought. I put in my headphones and continued to watch the display of the lovers, i wonder what Sesshomaru thought of her. He was Inuyasha's older brother and the most straightforward and cold hearted person she knew, but was still one of the people she cherished.

Second Period. Pre-calculus

Quick to the possibly the hardest class in the whole world, seriously this made no sense. Imaginary numbers were pointless and will never be necessary because they don't exist. I walked by the doorway and decided that a little skipping never hurt anyone. My books in hand i went to the AUX gym, it wasn't really used except for important tests, then behind the bleachers. I use to come here with him. Inuyasha. This was not going to work, this happens everyday and everyday i feel like i never meant what i had thought i did, I took out the dubes i got from my businessman, Miroku, and i light it up.

I'm on my second one, Halfway through, just a little bit more and i will be feeling this for most of the day. I can hear steps, for fucks sake i can't have any alone time, they're approaching fast and i'm debating putting it out and pretending i got lost or getting caught. I don't care anymore i stay there inhaling the THC. The person who was coming in hot slowed and came into view, of course.


	2. Shit hits the fan

The person who was coming in hot slowed and came into view, of course. Inuyasha gave me a double take before grabbing the joint from my hands and throwing it down and smashing it. After an exasperated sigh, i decide it's not worth fighting over and lean against the wall waiting for him to leave, go back to pretending we weren't friends for our whole lives.

"Kagome, you shouldn't be doing this at school?". His high horse is really starting to piss me off. Did he not know who his father was? Maybe, he forgot that he was a thriving drug dealer who was running half the town. There wasn't any resentment from me to Inu No Taisho, he was actually like a father to me after mine passed. His son just doesn't know when he isn't needed and I really don't want to be there when someone tells him.

I look around a bit as if to see if anyone was going to save me from the impending scolding, sadly, no one was even close i could sense it even if i was high. To me it feels like hours we're there but the bell hasn't even rang yet and i was pretty sure he wasn't leaving till i went to class. My luck was shit, my joint was smashed, and i'm with in arm's length of the person that i couldn't hate more, what else? To my surprise he came and sat down next to me and sighed while closing his eyes. Why? He wouldn't even talk talk to me and now he wants to pretend that 4 months ago i didn't make his feel more loved than he had ever felt in his whole life or maybe that was just a lie too.

"What do you want or better yet why are you even here?" I wasn't trying to be mean but the venom in my voice was more than evident.

"I just need to think, then i saw you and i got to thinking that we really haven't talked for a while also do you know how much trouble you could get in for smoking at school kags?" He had turned his head to look at me in the process of spewing bullshit. Of course he knew i knew the answer. He and i use to do this all the time but apparently, he just forgot that he wasn't a straight arrow either. "And my father was talking about the lack of appearance at the house, look i know what happened was a mis.."

"Mistake? You'd call that a mistake how about fucking the police chief's daughter or ratting me out to the cops when i had a gram on me and believe me there is more" I cut him off, i don't care about his stupid ass excuse for why he decided that him and i were "mean to be" then decided to leave for kikyo. She was the probably just playing with his feeling to figure out if the rumors were true about the Takahashi's to go tell her daddy. Disgusting bitch. I get up and walk away with my books in hand i can hear his feeble protests about "that's not what i meant" and "that's not what i'm doing". How pathetic, of course he'd make excuses for himself instead of owning up to him and i'm sure he can feel my animosity through our weakening bond. I'm making a B line to my locker when i stumble upon Kikyo. What did i say about bad luck. I ignore her the best i can but her face is colored in hate.

"Slut." She was going to try harder than that. I continued to my locker the plan was to leave and head to Taisho. "Awe look you think you can ignore me, thing is i know about your bond, really how pathetic he marked you by accident and now he is stuck feeling your trivial emotions well i guess he has me to make up for that. Really did you think you were anything but practice? he obviously needed a test run before he came to me. To top it all of he said you weren't even good."

He told her about it. About our mating. Our bond. Our , I need to leave and quickly, i can feel the prickling in my eyes the tell tale sign of hot tears. I could feel his confusion at my despair, the high was wearing off if i could feel him back. It's only second period and i'm already leaving, i'm thankful that kikyo didn't follow me after her enlightening speech of my inadequateness. I'm out the door and down the steps, i hurry to the sidewalk and make my way to the once grand place i use to think of as my second home.


End file.
